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Changes

I’ve had one friend contact me on Facebook wondering if I was still blogging.  Glad to know Jennifer G. cares.  The answer is yes.  And no.  I’ve had a falling out with this blog and after some deliberation, I’ll share it with you.

The idea behind 12 Resolutions was simple: make one goal per month and be accountable via public humiliation, a.k.a. this blog.  I was off to a momentous start and had great responses to my month of ADD attack, but soon thereafter, I hit a slump.  Either I was asking myself to do things that just couldn’t be completed in a month and thereby setting myself up for failure, or I wasn’t fully invested in the goals.  Maybe both.  The Huz recently shared with me some wisdom from the blog Zen Habits:  goals set us up for failure.  Here’s the link to the entry: http://zenhabits.net/no-goal/.  It’s a fascinating idea.  No goals.  Not sure I can live quite that freely as I am a consummate control freak.  That said, my goals this past year were definitely setting me up for failure.

So, now what?

The Huz and I are both on a path of change.  We both got sick of things not working in our lives and thankfully, we both want to change the same things at the same time.  For me that will mean a change in my blogging.  I will probably check in from time to time on this blog, but I’m devising a new one for the near-future.  I most likely will abandon Word Press as it doesn’t suit all of my social networking needs.  I here Weebly is a good option.  My future blogging will either concern living with ADD and parenting or will be a real-deal author page with links to my handful of clips, perhaps both.  I will be meeting regularly with a friend and new acquaintance to discuss writing and blogging and expect these meetings to give me succor for the future project.

Thanks for reading my ruminations and cheering my successes.  This feels freeing.  I’m trying to do more in-the-moment actions rather than a planned outline of to-dos.  I’ve been much happier adopting this approach and I have accomplished things that have piled up on the to-do list for months!  I cleaned my car, got laundry under control, cleaned the house and decluttered the ground floor, etc. etc.  It’s a cycle and won’t stay organized and clean for long, but I don’t feel like a victim to my house, my car, my kids, my dog.  Next up, not feeling like a victim to my health and my finances.

It’s a process, one that probably will take longer than a month.

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Well hello there.  It’s been a while.  Remember that whole meditation resolution?  Let’s call that a blog fail and move on.  I was entirely too busy with back-to-school, kid illnesses, my own illness, and loss of electricity during a freak storm to pay much attention to the blog or to the concept of meditation (although, I probably could have used it).  I did attend a workshop on women & stress and we discussed meditation, so does that count a little?  Thought not.

It’s probably time for me to address one of my creativity resolutions, but I’ll need to ponder this to see what is do-able.  What I really want to tackle is learning to sew.  I collect flyers from Jo Ann Fabrics and circle the sewing classes, but none of that gets me closer to buying a sewing machine.  Much like the bike, it’s an investment that I’m not sure I’m ready to take without knowing how to use it yet.  I wish they had loners on hand.

In other news: I published a personal essay in Skirt! Magazine and am pretty happy about that.  Here’s the link:

http://skirt.com/essays/wear-it-your-sleeve

It just came out at midnight and I have had 380-some-odd views and my sweet friends have liked it on Facebook.  Hooray for me!

I promise not to tally long, but this month promises to be almost as busy as last: just launched a fundraiser for my daughter’s school, pitched an article for a new newspaper and need to get crackin’ on the interviews (one has cancelled twice – I was sick, then her husband was injured), and way too many PTA activities in one month!

Back soon . . .

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Parli inglese?

Well, it’s the end of the month, I leave in 3 days, and I can barely speak any Italian.  Summer months are hard for a blogging mom.  The kids are home, we went to Florida for a week, there’s no schedule.  Suffice to say, I haven’t done well with this resolution.  Good thing I have my Italian tutor app installed on the phone for quick help when I need it.  Dov’e il bangno, per favore?  That’s really all I need, right.

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Bike versus Yard

Not much news on the bike front, sadly. It has been stormy, but that’s a poor excuse.

Good news, however: my huz and I spent all day Sunday in the yard and I’m happy to report that the seedlings – all of which my four-year-old son and I planted from seed – are in the garden and nestled with homemade compost! Whoohoo! It’s very gratifying to create nutrient-rich soil. Never thought I’d utter those words. Also accomplished: irises divided and planted (one row has turned into FIVE), pumpkins planted behind irises, and a brand new bed created around the oak leaf hydrangeas. It looks fab if I do say so myself.

Here are some photos from the garden.

After

Before

Tomatoes planted: Check!

Irises divided (then flattened by storms): Check!

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Can’t stand the suspense, can you?  Here’s the bike for which I am pining.

The Electra Gigi

So cute and retro.  Also pricey, so it may not happen.  Over $600 pricey.  Yeah, that pricey.

What I like about the Electras are their “flat footed technology.”  In other words, you can sit on the seat and your feet actually touch the ground flat-footed, not tippy-toed.  This has been a real issue for me.  I’m only 5′ and if I feel like I’m falling, I don’t have the security of just putting my feet down.  When I put my feet down, they still hit air.  I realized only recently that every bike I’ve ever been on has not had short people in mind.  I ran across a similar discrimination when I was weight-training in college.  Old Nautilus machines did not have small women in mind.  I over-extended my arms constantly because I didn’t fit the machine.  Flat-footed technology makes me feel welcome and the funky detailing doesn’t hurt either.  Add a wicker basket to the front of this baby and I’m sure to start riding around the neighborhood with fresh flowers from the farmer’s market!

Check out the Electra website: http://www.electrabike.com/

I even like their motto: The official bike of nothing official.  Dude, that is me in a nutshell.  Oh yeah, they have guys bikes too.

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April came and went.  Last week was Easter and days before, Passover.  My family barely acknowledged each holiday.  My son refused to eat the matzo at preschool, but learned to sing a song about baby Moses in the river Nile.  My husband and I put together small Easter/Ester/Spring baskets with plastic eggs and candy and my in-laws went overboard with candy and eggs.  Since my Orthodox Jewish bubbie used to buy me Easter candy (hollow chocolate bunnies bigger than my forearm), I don’t see a conflict here.  But with all of this month’s emphasis on religious celebrations, or at least secular versions of them, I attempted to address my own spiritual ambivalence.  Originally, I believed I failed big time, but now that I look back on my goals for the month I see that I didn’t do so bad after all.

1. Meet with my friend, the Roller Derby Unitarian Minister.  Meet and discuss; no obligations.  CHECK!  I really enjoyed meeting with Rev. Dawn.  She’s a very warm and genuine person who intensely believes in her congregation.  I even attended a service, with mixed feelings.  It’s a wonderful, loving place, I’m just not sure it’s what I need right now.  Maybe I’ll attend another service again in the future.

2. Read:  God Said Ha!  — CHECK; The God Delusion —  No.  I still intend to read Dawkins, I just need more time and concentration.  I also put together a great reading list with the help of my neighbor, Dan.  Thanks!

3. Bereavement support at Gilda’s Club — Well, I contacted someone at Gilda’s Club and got the calendar, but I didn’t attend any support groups.  I’d still like to get involved with them at a future date when grad school deadlines don’t loom.

4. Face the eternal — I have friends willing to do the paperwork for a will for both me and my husband at an affordable price.  Now, all we need to do is put together an outline of what we want and hand it over in June.  Over dinner.  Not so daunting when you add dinner.

So, I’m feeling better about this past month than I thought I would.  Next month, however, I’m keeping the goals a bit more focused and achievable.

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