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Posts Tagged ‘loss’

Almost the end of the month time, time for reflection.

This month I didn’t have lofty goals.  I knew that my kids’ schedules would not permit much room for me to percolate with personal growth.  And then smack in the middle of the chaos came death.  My father’s long-time girlfriend – a strong charismatic woman – fell ill and passed in one brief month.  Not enough time to process the loss, to know what to say to her or my father.  So, in between running to ballet and soccer and ping-ponging between schools sometimes 3 or 4 times a day with various events and volunteering commitments, I drove to the hospital.  I drove to the nursing home.  I drove back to the hospital.  And I wrote daily emails to my out-of-town family to help them keep track.  This month did not turn out like I expected, but I am glad my personal goals were digestible and I’m learning that each month’s goals need not end the last day of the month.  Each month is a beginning process, rather.  An opportunity to grow and commit to stop the neurosis, start the action.

The focus of the month has been my garden/s, my yard.  The main thing I’ve learned is: it’s too early to start most of the gardening I want to do!  It’s a great time to plant or transplant shrubs, so I did that.  Summer bulbs can go in – still on my list.  And some vegetables can be sown directly in the garden soil, particularly root vegetables that take longer to grow and lettuces.  Haven’t done that yet either, but did turn the soil in the beds.  Some of my more nagging weeds are gone, so that’s improvement, and I have more of a vision for what I want the green space surrounding me and my family to look like.  I haven’t attended the garden workshops on my list, but there’s still time.  Most are offered throughout the growing season.  One big thing I learned is some garden centers charge much much more for a plant you can get for $9.98 at Lowes.  If it doesn’t make it, I’m only out $9.98.  I call it stress-free, budget gardening.  I also learned that friends are willing to give me cuttings for free.  If anyone in the River City needs some Sedum or Hostas (come Fall), give me a shout.

New leaves on the Oak Leaf Hydrangeas that I moved! They like me! They really like me!

Gardening, and being outside in general, has a calming effect on me.  It boosts my mood, even if I don’t know what I’m doing.  Taking walks with my beastly dog amongst the flowering trees has helped bring comfort at a time of loss.  I know I haven’t been as diligent getting to the blog and my posts have been more scattered in focus (and trust me, I’m still taking the Vyvanse!), but I am feeling the old adage hold true–March is going out like a lamb, or in my case like Lamb’s Ear.

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