Not Superwoman (or Catwoman, for that matter)

I’m not sure why this is just hitting me now, especially when I have had moments of clarity in my past.  I guess I never learned.  I over-commit.  This is a trait of the ADD adult.  According to Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo of  You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy? ADD adults have a terrible time finding balance in their lives, much like alcoholics.  Similarly, we feel out of control.  They say we take on more than we can do because we fear the boredom of routine.  Check!  I have balked at scheduling my life in any way up until this year.  I can’t do it anymore.  I have two kids.  That’s four schedules in our household and I am the schedule-keeper.  So when I volunteer to serve on the PTA board, I know it’s crazy but I do it anyway because I believe in the cause.  And when I open my mouth to create a new fundraiser – a read-a-thon – I know I’m crazy because it requires organizing both materials and people.  At least I found a wonderful co-chair who is detail-oriented.  The balance between our working relationship is what is keeping me sane through this process.  If my life were just harried because of the fundraiser next month, I would have enough balance in my schedule to not feel overwhelmed.  Let me share with you the reality of the situation:

1. First week of the month: two doctor visits, a talent show rehearsal and actual talent show (my daughter).
2. Second week: dinner fundraiser at son’s school, my last MFA packet of the semester is due, dentist (daughter), field trip chaperone (son), major rehearsals begin for ballet performance (daughter), daughter’s first slumber party (not my house, yay!)
3. Third week: (This is where it gets really fun) My husband is out of town, end of fundraiser–volunteer at school one morning and one full day (daughter), 3-hour ballet rehearsal.
4. Fourth week: Book club, children’s consignment sale (I’m a vendor so I must price clothes, drop off clothes, shop for kids’ spring-summer wardrobes, pick up clothes that don’t sell/donate), 2-hr. ballet rehearsal (Thursday), 4-hr. ballet rehearsal/leave school early (Friday), ballet performance (Saturday night), ballet performance (Sunday matinee).
5. Fifth week: (wait, there’s five weeks this month?) Piano recital (day after ballet performance) and nothing else (really?).

I remember my friend Michelle once told me the most important word she ever learned was “no.”  I need to practice saying no.  Kelly and Ramundo recommend making a weekly calendar.  Check again!  But they also suggest that you take into account “an accumulation of demands on your capacity for work and stress.”  Be realistic.  How much stress can you handle?  When you write out a schedule, make sure you write in transition time and give a little extra time for unexpected delays.  I have done this for two weeks now and it does help.  I can be very flexible and move things around so I don’t stress when I can’t get the laundry put away on Tuesday.  It will happen Wednesday after the kids go to bed.  No biggie.

Another nod to Kelly and Ramundo: figure out your strengths and weaknesses.  What can you do well and not-so well?  This will help you prioritize.  What are your should-dos and must-dos?  After the analysis, “slice and dice” your schedule.  I’m going to read over the chapter more carefully and see what I can actually use and apply to my own craziness.  I can’t imagine juggling all of this and working full-time.  Props to my friends who do it all.

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